May
2004
Breastfeeding and Guilt
One of the most powerful arguments many health professionals, government agencies and formula company manufacturers make for not promoting and supporting breastfeeding is that we should "not make the mother feel guilty for not breastfeeding." Even some strong breastfeeding advocates are disarmed by this "not making mothers feel guilty" ploy.
Because, indeed, it is nothing more than a ploy. It is an argument which deflects attention from the lack of knowledge and understanding of most health professionals about breastfeeding. This allows them not to feel guilty for their ignorance of how to help women overcome difficulties with breastfeeding, which could have been overcome and usually which could have been prevented in the first place if mothers were not so undermined in their attempts to breastfeed. This argument also seems to allow formula companies and health professionals to pass out formula company literature and free samples of formula to pregnant women and new mothers without pangs of guilt, though it has been well demonstrated that this literature and the free samples decrease the rate and duration of breastfeeding.
Let's look at real life. If a pregnant woman went to her physician and admitted she smoked a pack of cigarettes, is there not a strong chance that she would leave the office feeling guilty for endangering her developing baby? If she admitted to drinking a couple of beers every so often, is there not a strong chance that she would leave the office feeling guilty? If a mother admitted to sleeping in the same bed with her baby, would most physicians not make her feel guilty for this even though it is the best thing for her and the baby? If she went to the office with her one week old baby and told the physician that she was feeding her baby homogenized milk, what would be the reaction of her physician? Most would practically collapse and have a fit. And they would have no problem at all making that mother feel guilty for feeding her baby cow's milk, and then pressuring her to feed the baby formula. (Not pressuring her to breastfeed, it should be noted, because "you wouldn't want to make a woman feel guilty for not breastfeeding.")
Why such indulgence for formula? The reason of course, is that the formula companies have succeeded so brilliantly with their advertising to convince most of the world that formula feeding is just about as good as breastfeeding, and therefore there is no need to make such a big deal about women not breastfeeding. As a vice president of Nestle here in Toronto was quoted as saying "Obviously, advertising works." It is also a balm for the consciences of many health professionals who, themselves, did not breastfeed, or their wives did not breastfeed. "I will not make women feel guilty for not breastfeeding, because I don't want to feel guilty for my child not being breastfed".
Let's look at this a little more closely. Formula is certainly theoretically more appropriate for babies than cow's milk. But, in fact, there are no clinical studies which show that there is any difference between babies fed cow's milk and those fed formula. Not one. Breastmilk, and breastfeeding, which is not the same as breastmilk feeding, has many more theoretical advantages over formula than formula has over cow's milk (or other animal milk). And we are just learning about many of these advantages. Almost every day there are more studies telling us about these theoretical advantages. But there is also a wealth of clinical data showing that, even in affluent societies, breastfed babies, and their mothers incidentally, are much better off than formula fed babies. They have fewer ear infections, fewer gut infections, a lesser chance of developing juvenile diabetes and many other illnesses. The mother has a lesser chance of developing breast and ovarian cancer, and is probably protected against osteoporosis. And these are just a few examples.
So how should we approach support for breastfeeding? All pregnant women and their families need to know the risks of formula feeding. All should be encouraged to breastfeed, and all should get the best support available for starting breastfeeding once the baby is born. Because all the good intentions in the world will not help a mother who has developed terribly sore nipples because of the baby's poor latch at the breast. Or a mother who has been told, almost always inappropriately, that she must stop breastfeeding because of some medication or illness in her or her baby. Or a mother whose supply has not built up properly because she was given wrong information. Make no mistake about it—health professionals' advice is often the single most common reason for mothers' failing at breastfeeding!
If mothers get the information about the risks of formula feeding and decide to formula feed, they will have made an informed decision. This information must not come from the formula companies themselves, as it often does. Their pamphlets give some advantages of breastfeeding and then go on to imply that their formula is almost, actually just as good. If mothers get the best help possible with breastfeeding, and find breastfeeding is not for them, they will get no grief from me. It is important to know that a woman can easily switch from breastfeeding to bottle feeding. In the first days or weeks—no big problem. But the same is not true for switching from bottle feeding to breastfeeding. It is often very difficult or impossible, though not always.
Finally, who does feel guilty about breastfeeding? Not the women who make an informed choice to bottle feed. It is the woman who wanted to breastfeed, who tried, but was unable to breastfeed. In order to prevent women feeling guilty about not breastfeeding what is required is not avoiding promotion of breastfeeding, but promotion of breastfeeding coupled with good, knowledgeable and skillful support. This is not happening in most North American or European societies.
Article by Dr. Jack Newman
"Children behave as well as they are treated."
-Jan Hunt
~Tuesday is Chat day~
All members are welcome to join in on weekly chats.
Chat times are...
Daytime: 2-4pm EST
Night: 8-10pm EST
If you go to chat and you are all alone, then post a reminder on the board, and someone will join you :)
Make sure to use your current user name so we know who you are!
~Happy Chatting~
~From our message board~
Great threads! Please join in and add to these.
- Pope Benedict.
- It's a bird...it's a plane...it's a...
- What is your nursing goal?
- nursing fathers.
- Boobs are for babies and children.
- Borax! What you should know.
- Growing herbs indoors.
~Recipe of the month~
Thank you Steph H
Chicken Goulash with Tomatoes and Peppers
A note from our chef:
This recipe is taken from a Russian and Slavik cookbook my husband found. It actually calls for lamb, but my husband substituted shredded chicken instead and we both LOVED it. The book says that “Goulash is a dish that has traveled across Europe from Hungary and is popular in many places such as the Czech Republic and Germany. This Czech recipe is not true goulash, however, because of the addition of flour. Nevertheless, it has a wonderful infusion of tomatoes, paprika, green peppers and marjoram."
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1 ˝ to 2 lb skinless, boneless chicken breast, cubed
1 large onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, crushed
3 green peppers, seeded and diced
2 tbsp paprika
2-14 oz cans of diced tomatoes
1 tbsp chopped parsley
1 tsp fresh (1/2 tsp dried) marjoram
1 tsp Liquid Smoke*
2 tbsp all purpose flour
4 tbsp cold water
Salt and pepper to taste
4 cups cooked rice
Heat oil in a frying pan. Cook chicken until brown on all sides. Season well with salt and pepper.
Add onion and garlic, cooking 2 more minutes before adding green peppers and paprika. Pour tomatoes and enough water, if needed, to cover the chicken in the pan. Stir in herbs. Bring to a boil, turn down the heat, cover and simmer very gently for 1 ˝ hours, or until the chicken is tender and shreds easily.
Blend the flour with the cold water and pour into stew. Bring back to boil, then reduce the heat to a simmer and cook until sauce has thickened. Add more seasoning to taste and serve over cooked rice.
*Liquid Smoke is a hickory flavored sauce that can be found in the condiment aisle. I’m not sure if all stores carry it, but if you can’t find it, the recipe is good without it. My husband added this on his own; the original recipe did not call for it.
~Book review of the month~
Thank you Florence
Book and author: The Happiest Toddler on the Block, Harvey Karp MD
Rating?:
Mostly because his intentions were good, if the delivery was somewhat flawed.
Do you recommend this book?: I would only recommend this book to a seasoned parent - one who can pick and choose through it and take the information offered with a grain of salt. On the other hand, I would *not* give/recommend this book to a new parent as they may take Karp's advice as word.
Your Review:Dr. Karp's new book "The Happiest Toddler on the Block", is at times both amusing and somewhat frightening.
The basic premise of Dr. Karp's book is that toddlers are comparable to Neanderthals (somewhat limited intelligence, but a desire to learn/comform), and that a parents' best bet for speaking with their toddler is by using"toddler-ese" - grunting and whining right back at your child in order to match their level of communication.
Some parents may feel uncomfortable using this technique as it can be considered somewhat silly, and it may not even be effective for all toddlers! If you want to try it you can start by using a modified version, and avoid the full blown growling and grunting recommended.
Dr. Karp also offers what he calls "active listening techniques" that advise you to get down on your child's level and really listen. As well, speaking in short sentences and speaking softly is usually effective when dealing with a tired child that is at the end of her rope. Although most parents will not find that last bit of advice that surprising...
*However* - not all of Dr. Karp's advice may be palatable to those that practice attachment parenting. At different points in the book he offers advice that is comparable to that of the "Ferber method" which includes allowing your toddler to cry themselves out, or locking them in their room during a tantrum/time out. The frightening part was where he suggested installing a lock on the outside of the child's door and showing it to your toddler before placing them in the room.
All in all, like most books - "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" offers bits of amusement, some good advice, some head scratching and some flat out bad advice.
Comment on this book here.
Evan's Mama
What is your earliest memory of breastfeeding?
I vaugely remember my aunt breastfeeding my cousin - I'd of been around age 5.
Where did you grow up?
I grew up in a small rural country town. I lived it town but most of the county was farm life--lots of corn. One high school for the whole county. Everyone knew everyone.
What is your dream job?
My dream job would probably be working in elementary schools doing delinquency prevention work- teaching young kids things like anger management, choices and consequences, drug prevention, etc.
How do (did) family and friends react to your nursing?
With lots of interest! I feel like I've really educated my side of the family. Dh's family has several mothers who also nurse/have nursed (including MIL with dh's brother). I've gotten support all the way around. I do get an occasional "he's STILL nursing?" from co-workers.
Do (did) you have problems nursing in public or in front of people?
I was very self conscious about it in the beginning. I've really become a lot more comfortable and I feel the support here has helped. Though I'm still not a 'let it all hang out' kinda gal, I'm much more confident.
What is your favorite thing about being a mom?
There are so many things to love, but one thing that brings me a lot of joy is just seeing him have new experiences - go new places, touch new things, taste new foods!
If you knew It was Poison, Would you Still Buy It? Remove the toxic Chemicals From your Home. Its Simple! Switch Stores for better, safer, non toxic products.
We are looking for breastfeeding stories, birth stories, and photos for our nursing photo album. Please email submissions to Ms. Frizzle or Quinn